


We’ll win this time. And we’ll all survive.

by Owl_Kat



Category: demon slayer - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Characters suffer, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Im so sorry again, M/M, Major Manga Spoilers, Multi, Other, READ MANGA BEFORE, Romance, Tanjirou gets PTSD, Tanjirou gets depressed, The Universe was cruel to Tanjiro, Unintentional Time Travel, angst with happy ending, i was cruel, it gets a really happy ending in the end I swear, not fully proof read, sad character deaths, tanjirou gets mental issues, thank you for reading!, there will be possible romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25757926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Owl_Kat/pseuds/Owl_Kat
Summary: The final battle.It’s now or never.The Demon slayers lost. Muzan won. Tanjirou’s body is taken over by Muzan and he kills every last Demon slayer in his path. Tanjirou dies, but have the gods been nice to him this time? He can’t tell. But Tanjirou won’t stop fighting this time. Not until Muzan is killed. He WILL win this time. Or he’ll die trying. Again and again and again. He’ll do it, and he’ll make sure everyone lives this time. He’s not letting his friends, who he now finds family, die.OrThe final battle ends up in failure and everyone dies. Tanjirou wakes up in the snow on that day his sister turned into a demon. Tanjirou is determined to defeat Muzan this time, and make sure everyone stays alive.
Relationships: Demon Slayer Corps Hashira | Pillars/Kamado Tanjirou, Everyone loves Tanjirou - Relationship, Kamado Tanjirou & Everyone, Kamado Tanjirou/Shinazugawa Genya, Kamado Tanjirou/Tokitou Muichirou, Kamodo Tanjirou x Zenitsu x Inosuke, Mitsuri/ Obanai, Tanjirou x Giyuu, Tanjirou x Inosuke, Tanjirou x Kyojurou, Tanjirou x Zenitsu, Zenitsu/Uzui if you squint
Comments: 44
Kudos: 363





	1. Tanjirou became a demon, and Muzan won the war

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [When it Rains, it Pours [Beta Edition]](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24817915) by [Vivid_Dreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vivid_Dreamer/pseuds/Vivid_Dreamer). 



_ This is it _

_ This is our last shot _

_ I must win _

_ I must not let him win! _

_ I WILL NOT LET HIM WIN! _

  
  
  


Tanjirou had turned into a demon. Muzan and Tanjirou were fighting over control of the Kamodo boy’s body. 

Tanjirou felt tired. Oh so tired. He wanted it to be over. He was conscious of what was happening. He could see himself attacking the others, but he couldn’t stop his body. Slowly, but surely, Muzan was taking complete control over his body. He was sure that his mind would be gone soon, too.

No.

He couldn’t let him win. He just couldn’t. The life of so many rested on his hands! If I could just stop Muzan’s control! If I could just take control of his body even for a little bit, then-!

… 

Then what. What could I do in that little time? What would I do? Slice my own head off? My sword is too far away, and I beg Muzan would be back in control by then. 

I’m tired. I’m just so  _ tired. _

I want this to stop, to be over. Why can’t it be over already??

  
  


Tanjirou’s body had started to cry. The people around were shocked, and had hope that Tanjirou was still in there. 

The sun started climbing up into the sky. The rays hit Tanjirou’s body and started burning it. Tanjirou felt the pain and knew Muzan did too. Muzan took that time to gain control of his body again with the pain distracting the conscience of Tanjirou. Tanjirou wanted to scream and shout and cry and- 

He wanted to do so many things. He was aware of his friends, Zenitsu and Inosuke, around him watching in terror that Tanjirou,  _ poor, sweet, kind, strong Tanjirou _ had turned into a  _ demon.  _

He saw the disbelief in everyone’s face. He knew he had to end this. But before he could do anything, Tanjirou attacked the people around him. The sun no longer burned his flesh. 

Tanjirou saw the panic in Giyuu’s eyes. He saw the pain. He saw the look of everyone around him. He wanted to get his body back! But he couldn’t! His mind was getting weaker by the minute. 

Tanjirou knew what would happen next. He tried to close his “eyes” in order to avoid seeing the inevitable outcome. To not see Giyuu right in front of him, to not see the kakushis, to not see the looks of pure _ horror _ on his friends faces. But he couldn’t hide the sound of what came next.

There was a sharp slice, and a sickening rip of flesh. And the thud of a head.

When Tanjirou saw again. He saw the crimson on his hands. The wet sticky substance on his fingers dripping down. He knew what happened, and he was  _ terrified  _ to look down. But of course he had to. That’s what Muzan did. Muzan watched as Giyuu’s body dropped to the ground, pooling blood all around him. Muzan watched as Giyuu’s head rolled away. 

Tanjirou couldn’t do  _ anything.  _

He wanted to cry and scream. He wanted to shout “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! Giyuu-San I’m so sorry! Please no! No! No! No! No! No

Giyuu-San!”

But he couldn’t. He could only watch. He couldn’t even cry anymore. He had no control over his body. Muzan controlled it. 

Tanjirou saw the shocked faces of those around and the gasps of surprise. Giyuu was their last hope. Tanjirou saw as Inosuke sprung towards Tanjirou’s body.

_ NO! INOSUKE NO! PLEASE DON’T! I CAN’T SEE YOU GET KILLED TOO! PLEASE DON’t! PLEASE! _

But of course Inosuke didn’t stop running. He had his blades ready for the cut, but he hesitated. Inosuke couldn’t cut off the head of his closest friend, his closest  _ family.  _

And Nezuko came and stopped Tanjirou before he could kill Inosuke.

Tanjirou’s conscience was already slipping. He knew he didn’t have long. His sister was too late, his friends- no. His  _ family  _ was too late. He couldn’t fight back against Muzan. This was it. He wanted to say so much. 

In Tanjirou’s final moments of concsiousness, he was able to control his body once more. 

“I’m sorry, I’m so so so sorry. Please forgive me. I failed you all. I couldn’t do it. I love you all so much. Please. End it all. I’m so tired. I just want it to stop. I’m so sorry for what I’ve done. I love you all so much- and I- I-“

Tanjirou’s body started to cry again. He was clinging onto his friends for dear life. Tanjirou was slipping away. 

Tanjirou remembered his friends. He took in their scents one more time, in one more deep breath before Muzan took control over his body for the last time.

  
  
  


Nezuko, Zenitsu, and Inosuke thought that Tanjirou had come back. They had a moment of relief.

Nezuko got a part of her shoulder bitten out and she bled to death.

Zenitsu got a deep slash in his abdomen and was flung hard into the ground, dieing.

Inosuke got his neck sliced and died instantly.

The Pillars left tried to kill him and all died.

Even Shinobu’s poison that was left wasn’t enough.

The Demon Slayer Corpse has failed.

Muzan has won.

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

It was cold, and Tanjirou’s nose twitched from the breeze.  _ I don’t remember it being cold… wait what was happening? _

Tanjirou groaned and squirmed a little. Giyuu’s head shot up from where he was and looked at the Kamodo siblings. 

_ Wait… Muzan… what happened to Muzan? Didn’t he take my body- I remember! We were fighting Muzan… and he took over my body… I killed Giyuu… I-I killed my comrades… I lost… but then. How am I alive? Did I actually win my body back over. _

His eyes shot open and his brain hurt from the sudden brightness of the sky. Tanjirou blinked some more to clear his eyes. He noticed that there were trees up above. And that it was shockingly cold… but that doesn’t make sense. I was in a city during summer… where… where am I? What’s happening?

Tanjirou shot up and got an immediate head rush. Giyuu hardened his stance again when he saw the Kamodo sibling burst up from the ground. He relaxed again when he saw the confusion on the sibling’s face.

Tanjirou looked around and noticed his sister on the floor next to him… with the muzzle… wait what? But Nezuko lost her muzzle?

Tanjirou then noticed Giyuu standing by a tree. Tanjirou’s breath stopped and his heart started beating a mile a minute. He got dizzy. 

_ Wh-what? How? He was- I- I killed him! I saw him die! I killed him by my own hands! I can’t have forgotten that? What is happening?? I-I-I don’t- _

“So you’re finally awake.” Was all Giyuu said. Tanjirou stares open mouthed at Giyuu. 

_ Maybe it was a dream… no. Don’t be stupid, it was to real. You know it really happened. Giyuu died… so how is he standing right before me? _

Tanjirou couldn’t look away from Giyuu, and he could start to feel the tears form in his eyes from the surreal-ness of the situation.

Giyuu continued talking, but Tanjirou was deaf to what he had to say. He still couldn’t wrap his head around what was happening.

Before Tanjirou could stop it, he started crying. He could feel the tears falling down his face and become freezing against his skin due to the cold. That didn’t stop him from crying though. “G-g-giyuu-San! Your, your ali-ive?!” 

Tanjirou was balling now, and Giyuu’s eyes widened slightly and he stopped dead in what he was saying when he heard Tanjirou call him by his name. He knew he never told the child his name. Giyuu stares at the child in confusion and could feel his face scrunch up. 

Tanjirou hunched over now chanting “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry” over and over. Giyuu didn’t know what to do. What was this child talking about? Why would I not be alive? Giyuu pauses for a little more while staring at Tanjirou. 

Giyuu truly was at a loss of words. Like why wasn’t the kid concerned over his sister? They just fought each other over whether she dies or not? So why was he paying his sister practically no mind? And how did the kid know his name? Why was he chanting sorry like a prayer? It doesn’t feel directed towards his family or sister... but to... others.

Giyuu shook the thoughts from his head, focusing back on Tanjirou.

Said boy had calmed down a little, but he stayed huddled in on himself. He had gone from full on crying to hiccups and sporadic breathing.

Giyuu came up to the Kamodo boy. “Kamodo.” Was all Giyuu said. Tanjirou gasped and sprung from his hunched over position to look up at Giyuu. 

Before, Giyuu was disgusted at Tanjirou crying, and yelling at him to stop and such. But Giyuu sensed the change in the  _ reason _ he was crying. He wasn’t crying over his sister or over the unfairness of the world or anything. He seemed to be crying in relief, but not in relief of his sister living.

Giyuu was  _ very  _ confused.

He knelt down to the Kamodo boy, staring in straight into his eyes. They both paused, looking for what to say. Finally Giyuu asked, “ _ how do you know my name.” _

That was It. Tanjirou’s eyes widened in disbelief and his eyebrows dropped in sadness. He didn’t understand. 

_ Does… Giyuu-San not remember me? How… how is that… _

“Kamodo, how?” His voice was firm with and icy harshness to it, but still managed to gave an air of comfort to Tanjiro. Giyuu was still staring deep into Tanjirou’s eyes as if they would give the answer. Tanjirou couldn’t speak and only stammered over his words. “I-I-I… you… I-...” 

Suddenly Tanjirou got a shot of energy through his body and grabbed his head in pain. Tanjirou remembered the very first time he met Giyuu-San. In the snow of the woods near his home. He suddenly remembered their fight, his sister protecting him, and Giyuu sparring his sister’s life.

_ How does that work? I mean it explains why I’m here, but then it just opens the door to even more questions… _

Tanjirou caught a wiff of Giyuu’s scent and could tell the man was getting agitated. He removed his hand from his head, the searing headache he got fading away as quickly as he got it. 

The boy continued to stare at his hands trying to piece the words together when he suddenly said,

“... I don’t know.”

Giyuu stared at the Kamod boy for a long moment, and Tanjirou could feel his eyes burning holes into his skull. In honesty, Tanjirou was scared to look up. He didn’t know if he could handle Giyuu right now. This whole situation was making him sick, and he could feel nausea coming on. He couldn’t organize his thoughts and emotions, and he was getting over whelmed.

Tanjirou’s thoughts were going wild in a desperate search for answers. He kept asking why? How? When? How is Giyuu alive? Why is he acting so cold to me? Why doesn’t he remember me? How is Nezuko a demon again? Why am I back here?   


What is  _ happening? _

Giyuu stayed silent and stoic, standing back up. “...visit the elder Urokodaki Sakonji… He lives at the foot of the misty mountain…” Tanjirou scrunched his eyebrows in confusion. Tanjirou finally looked up at Giyuu; he found himself at a loss for words. 

“...” Tanjirou paused before he spoke, his mouth quivering as he thought of what exactly to say; what to ask. “Why are you...sending me to Urokodaki-sama?” Is what Tanjirou decided to ask.

Giyuu twitched his brows down slightly, but other then that, his face was back to being emotionless.  _ Why does the boy talk about Urokodaki-San in that way. Does he… know him?  _ Giyuu turned to leave but paused at the call from the boy.

“Giyuu-San, wait! What is going on? Why am I here? D-do you know what’s happening?” Tanjirou stared hopefully at Giyuu In hopes that he had an answer. 

Instead, Giyuu turned his back and disappeared into the woods. He himself had questions, but decided his work was more important than the boy. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t confused or curious as to what the boy was talking about. He noticed how confused the boy looked. How… shocked he looked to see him. He felt kind of... sad towards the boy, not for his sister, but in how desperate he sounded for answers.

_The boy truly looked confused, but I gave him all the help I could for the moment... but his eyes looked so..._

Giyuu shook that train of thoughts away. He ended up filing those reactions of the Kamodo boy under “his sister turned into a demon and I tried to kill her, so his reaction is normal” folder in his brain. He decided that he would ignore it. It was a normal reaction… right? Giyuu himself didn’t fully understand why he felt like he wanted... no... needed to protect the boy. He felt a weird connection to him, but he couldn’t place his finger on it.   


Again, Giyuu shook those thoughts away, trying to focus his duty as a slayer. He didn’t know why he was thinking like this, why he felt like he wa- no. He stopped those trains of thought again and locked them away. He had work to do, he could focus on this situation later. 

Leaving behind an utterly confused Tanjirou, Giyuu continued onward to his next duty. The Kamodo boy sat in his spot for a few moments longer looking at the spot where Giyuu just was, watching the snow fall more and more, thinking about what had happened. He felt kind of hurt when Giyuu ignored him, but he supposed it was normal for Giyuu to do that… but still. Tanjirou _knew_ he had a close relationship with Giyuu... he remember all the time he spent with Giyuu before the battle...

  
the battle...

The boy had an idea of what happened, and why the two boy’s interaction went as it did but… no. It was too ridiculous of a thought. 

Looking over his shoulder to his sister, Tanjirou saw her sleeping peacefully on the floor, unbothered by the cold. Her sight brought a sense of peace to Tanjirou, a small piece of mind in his jumbled thoughts and emotions.

Trying to collect his thoughts, Tanjirou took a deep breath to calm himself. He decided to follow what Giyuu had told him to do, and go to Urokodaki’s mountain.

Drying his face and eyes, Tanjirou grabbed his sister and made his way to the Misty Mountain. He was still confused as ever, and emotionally damaged from everything he remembers… but if his idea was right… then that meant…

Tanjirou walked onward. He had to see if his idea was right. If he really was sent back in time.

  
  



	3. A long two years

On his way to the Misty Mountain, Tanjirou did pretty much everything similar to the first time he did it. He got the basket for Nezuko and traveled the long path to the mountains. Tanjirou remembered the poor people at the house who were eaten by the demon. 

At this point, Tanjirou was 100 percent positive he was sent back in time. He just didn’t know  _ how. _ He still had so many unanswered questions, but decided to push them away for now. He didn’t know how to handle this situation, so he just pushed forwards.

Tanjirou arrived at the mountain at the same time he originally did. The fight went like it did last time he was there.

When Urokodaki appeared, Tanjirou immediately felt his heart and spirits rise, only to fall again when he remembered that Urokodaki didn't know him yet. That’s okay! He could live with that, right? The man he thought of as a father not remembering him? 

_ It’s okay, he’ll know me soon enough. I just have to be patient! Right? _

Tanjirou still hesitates in killing the demon this time, but he knew it would turn out fine in the end. Urokodaki still took in Tanjirou, so he didn’t have to worry!

Everything after their first meeting went as before. Tanjirou ran after Urokodaki, cursing his body for not being adapted to this exercise yet. 

That’s right. Tanjirou wasn’t a slayer yet. He had to train for  _ two years.  _ Again. 

Tanjirou would be lying if he said his heart didn’t fall slightly at the thought. He ended up shaking the thought away.  _ It’ll be fine! I did it before I can do it again… it’ll be fine… _

On Tanjirou’s way down the mountain, he made his trip a bit smoother compared to his very first time doing this. He at least  _ knew  _ the traps were there before he set any off.

So when Urokodaki took him in, Tanjirou started his training. Again.

He trained and trained, even harsher than last time if it was even possible. He knew what to expect, he knew what would happen.  _ He knew what he had to do _ .

Occasionally Urokodaki would get concerned over Tanjirou working himself too hard. On multiple occasions Urokodaki had to either force the young boy to stop for the day or carry a passed out body to bed.

But Tanjirou didn’t stop. For all he knew this was his  _ last _ chance to win. He wanted to get as strong as possible as fast as possible. This led to Tanjirou overworking himself on multiple occasions. 

_ I have to win. I’m not letting Muzan win this time. This might be my last chance. If I want to protect everyone I love, if I want them to live, I’ve got to do this! I need to work harder!  _

_ Curse my body for being back to how it was before! I’m not as agile and strong as I was… but I’ve got to keep going… I’ve got to… _

But Tanjirou did get the breathing techniques down faster then last time. He was able to get down the stances and the power of his attacks. Tanjirou finished his training quicker than last before.

On the day Urokodaki told him he could teach him no more, Tanjirou was prepared to slice the boulder.

Tanjirou was prepared to fight Sabito, he knew what to expect. So it was so  _ frustrating  _ when Tanjirou lost the fight, still. In the end Tanjirou practically perfected his breathing techniques, saying as he already knew how to do them properly. 

He was just so frustrated that he had to train his body  _ all over again.  _ It took him two years, _again._ It was a long time, and to him, it felt longer than it should have.

But Tanjirou beat Sabito in a shorter time. Rather than six months, it only took three.

Tanjirou beat Sabito and split the rock. He was finally allowed into the final selection.

  
  
  
  


On the night of waiting to departure for the final selection, Tanjirou had the night to himself. It was just him and his thoughts. He finally had time to think.

Even after two years, Tanjirou still didn’t have an answer as to what happened to him. And he doubted he’d find an answer anytime soon.

Tanjirou laid in bed staring at the ceiling. His mind started drifting over the past few years, and then to his friends. 

_ His friends _ .

He’s missed them  _ so  _ much. 

Their distinct scents, their constant bickers, Zenitsu’s crying and clinging, and Inosuke’s screams and “attacks.” He missed them, and he’s felt so  _ lonely _ for the past two years. 

The room began to get blurry and Tanjirou’s eyes started stinging. Then one tear rolled down, and another, until he couldn’t contain his tears anymore. He couldn’t stop thinking back on all the time he spent with his friends, with the pillars, the Demon slayers,  _ everyone _ . 

Tanjirou let out a slight hiccup.

His thoughts eventually drifted to the battle he had with Muzan. He remembered Giyuu… he remembered his friends… the pillars… all of it. The tears came a little harder and Tanjirou covered his mouth to muffle his breathing and cries, his body shaking in attempt to keep quiet.

In the past two years Tanjirou hadn’t thought back fully onto the battle he had. Sure he would get momentary bits-and-pieces, but would always throw the thoughts to the side in favor of training.

Now that he had the time to actually  _ think  _ and  _ remember,  _ his emotions got the better of him. He deeply hoped that he could do it this time, that he could win, that he could be _strong enough._

__ Will I actually have the strength when the time comes? I want to be able to protect everyone… I want them to live… but can I actually do it? Will I ever have the strength?   
  


A cry left his mouth.

_ I need to train harder… get stronger, I need to master the water breathing and the dance of the sun god. I CAN'T fail this time! If I do… everyone…  _

Tanjirou cried a little harder at the thought, this time both hands over his face to muffle his cry. He hunched in on himself, trying to find comfort and protection. He didn’t know how he could change time. He was sent back for a reason, right? He had a chance, right?!

Tanjirou didn’t know. He didn’t have the answers and it frustrates him to no end. He was lonely, confused, and scared.

He didn’t know if he could do it, but he was prepared to try. Tanjirou kept crying for a long time. His thoughts taking a while to calm down. 

Eventually, a curled up, calmed breath Tanjirou fell asleep. He had a dreamless night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry if the story seems to be going slow! I’m trying to give a base for future chapters. Tell me if you have any suggestions for the story, or maybe even ships you want to see... I’m curious to what you guys like 👀👀. But thank you for reading! Love ya :)


	4. The final selection

When he woke up, Tanjirou felt a gross sticky-ness on his face from his tears. Tanjirou cleaned his face the best he could and made his way out to where Urokodaki was. 

It was time to head to the final selection.

When he saw Urokodaki, he deeply hoped that his eyes weren’t  _ too  _ puffy and red from his crying. Tanjirou caught a slight whiff of concern coming from the older man, and prayed that he didn’t ask questions about him crying.

Tanjirou said his greetings and sat down for breakfast. Tanjirou felt oddly relaxed, and was thankful the man in front didn’t mention anything about last night. 

They finished their breakfast and cleaned up, and Urokodaki went to get Tanjirou his haori and mask. When he came back with said items, Urokodaki set them down and waited for Tanjirou to join him.

They sat in silence for a moment before Urokodaki spoke. “Tanjirou… are you prepared for this?” Tanjirou looked up at Urokodaki and simply gave him a determined nod. If only he could tell him that this would be easy, that he’s definitely seen and fought worse demons than the ones in the final selection. 

But he stayed silent. He was ready to kill that arm demon. He was ready for the seven days. He was ready to become a demon slayer once more.

Tanjirou could smell the concern and sadness coming from Urokodaki. He wanted to comfort him and tell him not to worry, that he’ll be fine, but Tanjirou felt that those words would be useless. The only way he could truly bring peace to Urokodaki is to come back alive.

  
  


So, Tanjirou left for the Wisteria mountain, determined to get these seven days over with. 

Tanjirou was ready to start the final selection, so when the Ubuyashiki children started talking, he started to drone them out. He ended up looking around at the other children. He remembered how few were left after the seven days.

Maybe he could save a few this time… maybe more could make it… he  _ had  _ to try.

Tanjirou continued to look around and felt his heart pick up when he spotted a familiar mop of blonde locks. How he wished he could go over to talk to him like before, but he had to wait. He would wait for after the selection, he knew that Zenitsu would be perfectly fine. 

Tanjirou also spotted Genya, smiling in his direction as well, softening his eyes the way he would when looking at his younger siblings.

Tanjirou quickly looked away when he noticed Genya’s gaze flick over to Tanjirou. He felt a slight blush creep onto his face from being caught staring. Genya didn’t even remember him! At least Zenitsu was too distracted with whining to notice Tanjirou looking at him.

The Ubuyashiki children’s speech was coming to an end and started the final selection.

Tanjirou dashed off in the direction of where he might find the arms demon. That demon was his target.

Slicing demons here and there, Tanjirou eventually found the arm demon. Tanjirou ran just in time to slice off the arm reaching for another person.

The fight ended quick, Tanjirou successfully slicing off the demon’s head while ignoring the demon’s little speech of the “fox children.”

Tanjirou still paid his respects to the demon, holding it’s hand in its final moments. 

The rest of the fox children whose spirits were left at the mountains finally found peace in the slaying of the arms demon. Sabito and Makomo were proud of Tanjirou, they felt he would win.

  
  


Tanjirou continued on, looking for any other children who might need his help.

_ I might be able to save some! Please don’t die! I’ve got to try and keep them alive, if I can do anything about that I will! I will not fail in keeping these people alive! _

And so he went, slaying any and all demons who came upon him. Tanjirou was able to save some people at the last moment from being devoured by demons. But Tanjirou felt it wasn’t enough. He wanted to protect as many people, but it was impossible!

_ I know I can’t protect everyone… but I wish I could! I have to get stronger! I must! If I can’t protect a few people, how will I save the people I love?! _

  
  
  


Tanjirou made it through the seven days, and was hopeful to see more people this time than before. He felt his heart drop when he noticed the numbers didn’t change.

_ I couldn’t even keep a few people alive! How am I…. how am I… going to win?  _

Tanjirou tried to push away those thoughts, and instead focused on what the Ubuyashiki children had to say. Tanjirou found the familiar sights of Zenitsu, Genya, and Kanao, but he wondered where Inosuke was? He never saw him during the seven days… strange.

Tanjirou made his way towards Zenitsu, it might have seemed a bit strange, but Tanjirou just felt comfortable near the whiny blonde. This time, Tanjirou did something he didn’t do the first time.

He put his hand on Zenitsu’s shoulder, effectively stopping the blondes chant of how he was going to die. The said blonde looked over to Tanjirou with glassy, butter-brown eyes. Tanjirou noticed the slight smell of confusion. 

But Tanjirou’s garnet red eyes stared softly into the blonde’s eyes. “You’re not going to die.” Tanjirou said, while giving Zenitsu a small squeeze on his shoulder and a soft smile.

Zenitsu didn’t say anything, or even blink, for a long moment. He just stared into the burgundy haired boy’s eyes. Zenitsu could hear the boy’s sounds and heard nothing but compassion and comfort, and  _ truth _ coming from him. 

Tanjirou felt like he had been holding on too long and quickly let go apologizing for the sudden touch. Zenitsu just looked away and muttered a quiet “it’s okay.”

During their little “moment,” Tanjirou didn’t notice Genya stomping up to the girls up front, demanding for the nichirin blade. Tanjirou had forgotten about it, and promptly grabbed Genya’s arm. “Gen-Good sir! Please let go of this girl's hair!” Tanjirou caught his slip up of almost calling Genya by name.

But despite asking Genya to let go, like last time, Tanjirou still ended up having to severely squeeze Genya’s arm to make him let go.

Genya grumbled some words under his breath, but walking away nonetheless.

Tanjirou felt a tinge bad about hurting his arm, but knew it would be fine later. 

Tanjirou and the others grabbed their ores and uniforms, making their way along their own separate paths.

Tanjirou made his way home, his new home. To where he knew where Nezuko and Urokodaki waited for him with open arms.

So with legs heavy and tired, he made it back to the house. He saw Nezuko kick the door open and run towards her. And it was then that he realized how much he had practically been  _ neglecting  _ his sister. Sure, she was in a coma, but he still didn’t pay as much attention to her as he could have.

He was caught up in his drive to get stronger and better, and subconsciously put the knowledge of when she woke up to the back of his mind. 

When she came and embraced him in a warm and tight hug, he felt his eyes sting again. He hurried his head into her shoulder and climbed tightly. He felt bad for neglecting her, and practically  _ forgetting  _ about her. He just… knew he didn’t have to be scared about her being safe. 

Tanjirou cried a bit more quietly this time, a slight sniffle here and there. He felt another pair of arms wrap around him as well. Tanjirou just cried again, his emotions mixing into each other, and he kind of forgot  _ why  _ he was crying.

Was he crying because Nezuko was awake? Was he crying because he felt bad for neglecting his sister? Because Nezuko and Urokodaki gave Tanjirou such a  _ warm  _ embrace that his worries from last night surfaced again?

He ended up giving up on explaining why. He just enjoyed their embrace. He promised to protect these people. He would  _ never  _ hurt his sister again, he wouldn’t let Muzan hurt her again.

And so the three went back to the house and waited for Tanjirou’s sword. He remembered the stubbornness of Haganezuka, and realized he missed the stubborn sword maker.

When Haganezuka arrived, the events went as last time. Tanjirou got his sword, and watched as it turned black. He didn’t comment on it being black, despite Haganezuka’s outburst. Tanjirou’s crow eventually flew in to announce his first mission. 

Tanjirou remembered the swamp demons. He thought if only he had gotten his sword a little sooner, probably could have gotten to the town sooner! He could have saved more girls and saved people the pain of losing a loved one! 

After Urokodaki gave Tanjirou the box for Nezuko, Tanjirou left in a hurry to get to the North East town. 

_ I will get stronger, _

He thought

_ I will win against the demons, I will protect innocent people. I will be strong enough to protect them! I must be! _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tanjirou’s is becoming slightly obsessed with becoming stronger... he knows what the future holds, but does he really have the power to change it?
> 
> ~~~~~
> 
> Thank you for reading! I’m glad to be able to give a story to you guys. Sorry if it’s a bit of a slow burn... but the balls rolling now! <3


	5. In Asakusa... can I kill Muzan?

Tanjirou had just made the finishing slice to the swamp demon’s head. He was glad that he had killed the demon, but he still felt… off. He felt like he should be somewhere else,  _ doing _ something else. 

Tanjirou went over to Nezuko to find her sleeping. He knew he didn’t have to be worried about her, that she would be fine. She would live and become a human again. But a part of Tanjirou  _ hated _ himself for thinking this way. He  _ should  _ be doting over her, worried for her despite knowing how this all will end.

Tanjirou went over to Kazumi, making sure he was at least okay. He knew what his answer would be.

“ _ Do you think I’m okay?! I’ve lost my betrothed!”  _

  
  


Once Tanjirou finished talking with Kazumi, he gave him a bittersweet smile, turned to get his new mission, and headed for Asakusa.

On his way there, Tanjirou had a lot of time to think to himself. He was trying to sort out what he was trying to do. He knew he had a mission in Asakusa, but beyond that? What was he supposed to do? He knew what would happen, but could he change it? He didn’t feel like he could, after all, his time back here felt the same as it did last time.

Tanjirou’s face scrunched in concentration, deep in his thoughts. 

_ Could I talk to the pillars? No, probably not, they don’t know who I am yet. Ubuyashiki, maybe? I don’t know… this whole situation is difficult. I can’t exactly give him a crow saying “hey I died in the future and then came back, let me tell you about what happened!” _

Tanjirou’s face began to scowl deeper, hands tightening into fists. 

_ But Asakusa… that’s where Muzan is. Can I kill him now? Despite the people there… despite the child in his arms? If I killed him that child would forever be scarred, and I would probably be caught by police… GAH! Is there anything I can do! _

Tanjirou stopped in his tracks.

_ Could  _ he actually do anything? Can he really change what is to happen? Can he win?

Tanjirou’s eyes started to blur with oncoming tears.

_ I...I can’t do anything… I can’t kill Muzan in Asakusa… or maybe I should? But there’s the problem of the police, civilians… and the child. I can’t do anything… I really can’t. Are things really meant to be played out as they were? _

The tears on Tanjirou’s face started to fall.

_ If that’s how it was meant to be… why… Did I come back? If I can’t do anything why am I here! Why am I here if I’m so… so! USELESS! _

Tanjirou was too focused on his thoughts to notice Nezuko come out of the box. When she saw Tanjirou crying she let out a surprised “mmph!” And immediately pulled him into an embrace. This in turn made Tanjirou cry a little harder.

Tanjirou didn’t want to cry, he had things to do, but he couldn’t stop. He felt it was pointless, that he couldn’t do  _ anything _ . And at that moment, those emotions and thoughts he had been trying to push away for months all crashed in at once.

He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know if time could change, he didn’t have his friends with him, he didn’t have everything he worked for from the past. He felt so lost.

  
  
  


Nezuko had no clue as to why he was crying, but cuddled him anyway. She just held him, stroking his hair, as he cried into her embrace. Tanjirou subconsciously tightened his grip around Nezuko, nuzzling into her warmth. Eventually, Tanjirou calmed enough to talk.

“I-i’m okay Nezu-uko…” Nezuko stared at him withworry. He was most definitely  _ not _ okay. She gave a little humm to voice her concern. “Really! I’m okay! I just got… overwhelmed…” Nezuko continued to stare at Tanjirou, not really believing his words. But she nodded in understanding, letting go of her brother.

Tanjirou got Nezuko back into the box, saying a small “thank you” before continuing on his way to Asakusa, where he met Kibutsuji Muzan for the first time.

  
  


Tanjirou had made it to Asakusa in the next few days, and he was on edge. He felt so antsy about what to do, and how things would play out.

Tanjirou ended up going back to the udon stand so he could leave Nezuko there while he looked for Muzan. 

He had decided to try and kill Muzan here and now.

_ But can I actually do it? Am I really strong enough?  _

Tanjirou tried to push the thought out as he walked towards the street, waiting to catch the scent of Muzan.

**_You're too weak for this._ **

  
  


Tanjirou faltered in his next step, shocked at the thought he had. No, he had to push those thoughts away for now. He had a job to do.

**_You couldn’t even kill him when you had trained for years, what makes you think you can do it now?_ **

Tanjirou ignored his thoughts… but he knew they were truthful. He didn’t kill Muzan before, and he had his friends, the pillars, everyone in the demon corpse… hell, even some demons!

**_But you still lost_ **

_ NO! I did the best I could… right? Besides, I don’t have time to think about the past, I’ve got to worry about Muzan! _

  
  
  


Tanjirou walked to the edge of the sidewalk, looking out into the street. He sniffed a few times, looking for Muzan’s. 

He picked up the scent of lemon with an undertone of blood. He was here. And it was now or never. He could do it now, and end it all.

So, Tanjirou made his way into the crowd, following the scent, until he made it to just a few feet away from Muzan.

There was a loud  _ badump-badump  _ going through Tanjirou’s ears, and he was sweating just a bit more than normal. 

Tanjirou was  _ scared _ . He didn’t know what would happen, and how this would turn out. But he decided to take a deep breath and stepped forward. 

Tanjirou remembered what Muzan did to him. It’s kind of shed to forget someone taking over your body, and  _ killing your friends  _ in front of you- no,  _ with  _ you.

He took a deep breath and reached his hand forward. It felt like eternity until his hand landed on Muzan’s shoulder.

Tanjirou managed to keep a semi-straight face as Muzan turned to look at him. Reaching for his sword, he faltered. He saw the child in his arms. The little girl who probably thought that Muzan was this sweet father. And Tanjirou hesitates. 

He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t. He couldn’t. He just couldn’t. 

Muzan glared down at Tanjirou, he could see the masked look of hatred in the boy’s eyes. He also noticed the sword at said boy’s hip.

_ I failed, he’s going to get that man again. _

And surely, Muzan did turn that random man into a demon, allowing himself to escape. Tanjirou threw himself at the man before he could do anything too deep to the woman.

Both struggled and thrashed, and Tanjirou prayed that Tamayo would get here. 

The police arrived, and soon after, so did Tamayo. Tanjirou let out a small sigh, soon following Tamayo and Yushiro. 

But one thought kept echoing in the back of Tanjirou’s mind

**_You are weak._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I LOVE YOUR GUY’s COMMENTS! THANK YOU FOR READING! Sorry for a bit of a late update lol, I’ve been trying to thin through plot and such, and also I now have to do school. Ugh.  
> Also I feel like we all have such screwed up sleep schedules lol, love y’all <3


	6. A Peach Orchard on a Rainy Day

On their way over to the hidden house, Tanjirou was on edge this whole time. He remembered 

what happened while at the Tamayo residence. 

Tanjirou was stuck in his head again wondering what he should do about the demons. Should he tell Tamayo and Yashiro about them beforehand? Maybe he should wait outside for them… should he follow what he did last time? 

GAH! THIS IS CONFUSING! 

Tanjirou’s face scrunched again. 

Tamayo shot a subtle glance towards Tanjirou, noticing his expression. The Kamado boy was too ensnared in his thoughts to notice, though.

They eventually ended up at the invisible house, and Tanjirou decided to stay quiet about the demons for the moment. The four of them followed the routine from the last run, but Tanjirou was practically shaking from anticipation. 

He couldn’t hold it anymore. 

He had to tell them.

Besides, he needed Yashiro’s sight.

So without thinking of the possible consequences, Tanjirou bursted out “MRS. TAMAYO!”

Said lady, slightly startled, darted her attention towards the brunette-haired boy. She patiently waited for him to continue. Yashiro, on the other hand, looked at the boy with a mixture of disgust, confusion, and anger. 

Tanjirou felt a slight heat rise to his face at his sudden outburst, and realized he could have called for the Demon Doctor’s attention more gently.

Tanjirou continued anyway, his arms stoic on his lap as he stared intently at Tamayo.

“Mrs. Tamayo… I-I need… to tell you something… and I don’t know how much longer I have, but I need you to trust me…”

Tanjirou started, keeping, as best he could, eye contact with the calm Doctor. 

She simply nodded for him to continue, much to the dislike of Yashiro besides her, who gave a sound of displeasure but did not interrupt.

“... there are two demons who are going to arrive here. They were able to find the house, despite the barrier, and are going to attack us. I need your guy’s help…. well, I need Yashiro’s help.”

Tanjirou kept firm, not glancing away from Tamayo, but seeing slight shock appear on Yashiro’s face, that slowly turned into anger.

“Why you! You lured demons here, didn’t you?! And you have the audacity to ask for my help!”

Yashiro howled at Tanjirou. Tamayo simply raised her hand to get the boy to calm down. Yashiro did so begrudgingly, letting Tamayo take over. 

She simply stared at Tanjirou, as if trying to peer into his soul, and for a moment his stoic face faltered into uncertainty.

Eventually, Tamayo gave a nod. Yashiro let out a small “tch,” and turned away from Tanjirou.

Tanjirou felt a weight of one burden lift off of his chest, and he felt utterly relieved. But he couldn’t relax yet, he still had to deal with the demons.

So Tanjirou talked about what the demon’s abilities were, and what help he needed. Yashiro complied with giving his sight to the demon slayer.

Tanjirou got the two to leave before the others arrived. He felt he could take care of the demons now. He could. He was **strong** enough.

So Tanjirou stood in the room, waiting for the little jingle jingle of the balls to appear.

It felt like hours before he got any sign of the demons, but eventually they arrived. 

Tanjirou was ready.

The burts of the wall was sudden, but Tanjirou let the wall break before he could counter attack. Since he could see the arrows, he was able to dodge much easier, and save himself some injury. 

In the midst of battle, Tanjirou was beginning to get ahead of himself. He was getting restless. He just wanted to battle to be over with already.

And the battle did end, a lot faster than last time. Despite his efforts to fight faster, the Kamado boy still felt as he did last time. Banged up, bruised, and probably some broken bones here and there.

**Gah! I even had the advantage of knowing they were coming!**

But the boy pushed the thoughts away, he had to get back to the others.

The interactions felt the same as before, Nezuko hugged and patted the two demons, and Tamayo offered to take care of the Demon girl. 

Honestly, Tanjirou felt like he was wasting time. He just didn’t know what for. 

So, Tanjirou left the Tamayo residence. He wouldn’t say he felt accomplished… he didn’t know how he felt. He just wanted to push forward, and kill Muzan. 

——————————————-

Tanjirou had a sudden flash of remembrance again, this time about what happened after the Tamayo house.

That’s right.

_Zenitsu._

The thought of seeing the blonde-haired crybaby brought a warmth to his chest, and a strange longing. 

_I can finally see Zenitsu… after 2 years… I-I can fi-inally… I really want to see him…. I’ve missed him so much… and Inosuke… God I’ve missed them!_

Tanjirou started worrying his lip through teeth, trying to keep his emotions hidden, but he could feel the tears at his water line, threatening to spill over. 

It’s been 2 years… _2 years._

And his two closest friends, who he seriously considered his family, wouldn’t recognize him.

The thought almost broke Tanjirou.

He didn’t know how he would handle this. He missed the two _so much_ and he has the opportunity to see them again after **the battle.**

He knew he should count himself lucky to have this opportunity. This chance to see some of the dearest people _he killed,_ again.

Tanjirou desperately tried to force his thoughts away. 

The crow came flying by telling Tanjirou to head to his next mission, and the said boy was more nervous than ever. His stomach felt like it was being twisted into knots, over and over.

He had no choice but to take one foot and move it Infront of the other.

Soon enough, the boy and the crow heard the familiar cries of a certain lighting-breath user.

Tanjirou froze. He didn’t know if he could do this… could he honestly face Zenitsu? Could he face Inosuke? After what he did?

After how he… 

Tanjirou breathed an uneasy breath and continued on. Despite his regrets, he wanted nothing more than to see the blonde and the wild boar.

Chuntaro came flying toward Tanjirou, and was accepted gladly onto the palm of the Kamodo boy.

After being told about the bird's strange predicament, Tanjirou sprinted towards the blonde.

Hearing the familiar whines and cries of the thunder breath user, Tanjirou dashed up to the blonde desperately clinging onto the girl.

With a grab at the yellow hoari, the blonde was yanked back from the girl and left dangling in the hand of Tanjirou.

In a moment of shock, the blonde stopped wailing, trying to figure out what happened. He looked over his shoulder to see a scornful Tanjirou, although Tanjirou was a little less angry than the last time.

Without really giving his next sentence a thought, Tanjirou started to lecture the blonde on his antics. “Zenitsu! I thought you would have changed by now! It is rude to ask for a person’s marriage so forcefully!”

Tanjirou just kind of went on, not noticing his slip of the tongue. The blonde stopped crying, only giving slight hiccups and sniffles, as he stared at the brunette.

When Tanjirou finally finished his lecture, the girl had already made her escape. Zenitsu’s was still left dangling in the hand of Tanjirou, said blonde boy just staring at the brunette.

The ranting was over, and there was a moment of silence between the two. Tanjirou began to blush when he realized how off on a tangent he went. He let go of Zenitsu, taking care not to drop him harshly.

They both sat for a second in silence until the blonde decided to break it. He honestly had quite a few questions floating in his head & didn't know what to start with. There was a slight “uhhhh” that came from Zenitsu, before Tanjirou burst out.

“Oh! I’m so sorry! That was kind of rude of me, but my name is Tanjirou Kamado!” The introduction was said quite forcefully & loud, making the blonde startle back a little. 

“Uhhh… no… I-it’s okay…” they blonde started, a lot softer compared to Tanjirou’s introduction. “My name is Zenitsu.” He said, looking down to the ground & deciding to not mention how Tanjirou already seemed to know his name. 

They didn’t have to sit in silence after the introduction, due to the crow gawking about getting a move on to their next assignment.

The blonde, startled at the crow, began to whine about the crow talking and “why doesn’t he have a crow,” and so on. Tanjirou just smiled and dragged Zenitsu along with him, following the directions from the crow. Tanjirou was given a moment of happiness; to be with one of his dearest friends after so long. He felt as comfortable with the blonde as he used to, the smell of rain and electricity with a hint of peaches. Like a peaceful peach orchard on a rainy day. 

Zenitsu smelt comforting and calm. As weird as it may sound, Tanjirou was so glad to be able to smell that rainy-orchard smell. 

But Tanjirou didn’t have too much time to dwell on it. They had a mission to get to.

_Right. To the demon house._

So with a whining blonde in trail, Tanjirou started towards the next destination. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg, a chapter, finally! I’m so sorry! I have been getting caught up in school & distracted by games, Oop-  
> But I love you all who read this!! I will try and add another chapter soon. Thank you so much for reading!
> 
> Have a good day 😘

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to all who read this! Sorry if it’s confusing, I’m trying to keep it from being so! Tell me if you enjoy this story, and feel free to comment thoughts on it, I would greatly appreciate it!
> 
> Thank you all!


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